Will buying a puppy cure my child’s fear of dogs?

Parents often believe that getting a puppy will stop their child being frightened of dogs.  Surely, a cute pooch will show them that dogs aren’t to be feared?  Let me explain why a new dog might not be the answer…

Think of something that scares you.  Perhaps snakes, or in my case, one of those flying insects with the long quivering legs (eughh).  Then imagine that someone you trust decides to ‘cure’ your fear by buying you a snake which they then present to you as a surprise.

Before they gifted the snake to you,  you could decide to avoid grassland areas where snakes might be.  You could refuse to visit the reptile house at the zoo, or avoid the vivarium in the pet shop.  But now the source of your fear is in the place that you should feel the safest.  You avoid the living room because you can’t be sure that the snake won’t slither up to you whilst you watch TV.  You can’t sleep because you are scared that it will enter your room at night.

Not only is the snake in your home, you find your loved ones pressuring you to interact with the snake.  They went to the effort of choosing that particular one.  They paid a lot of money for it.  They encourage you to feed it. They tell you that it isn’t scary – just give it a stroke.   But it IS scary.  You are terrified and there is no longer a place that you can retreat to and be sure that the snake won’t be there.  You begin to feel resentful of the snake and the people who bought it.  You no longer trust that they will keep you safe.  

Now change the snake to a puppy and think about how your child might feel.  Their safe space has become a place of fear.

 

What are the issues with buying a puppy for a child who is afraid of dogs?

There are a number of problems with buying a puppy for a child who is frightened of dogs:

 

• • Home is no longer a safe place.  Home was one of the few places that your child could be sure was dog-free.  That is no longer the case.

• • Your child trusts you to keep them safe.  By bringing a dog into your home when your child is afraid of dogs, you could make them feel that they can’t trust you after all.

 

• • Puppies are hard work.  A puppy takes a lot of physical and emotional effort.  Those little balls of fluffy cuteness need to be looked after and nurtured.  They need to be fed, socialised, walked, trained and played with.  That is a lot of extra work for you. Your child might resent the time you spend with the puppy.

• • Puppies bite.  Like human babies, pups use their mouths to find out about the world.  They bite to relieve the pain of teething.  They chew things.   Now you have a small dog who is actively using that mouth on anyone and anything: a puppy that hasn’t yet learned what they are allowed to chew or how to inhibit their bite. If your child is fearful of dogs, a mouthing puppy could be terrifying.  Afterall, it is usually the dog’s mouth that is the scariest thing to a child with fear of dogs and now you have a small creature that is actively trying to use their mouth on the child who is afraid of them.

• • Young dogs are boisterous.  The puppy will almost certainly jump up at your child.  They might chase feet and tug at clothing.  For children who are frightened of dogs, even a small pup jumping up at them can be extremely scary.  In fact many who are scared of dogs can trace it back to an incident of a dog jumping up at them when they were small.

• • Puppies are interesting to other dogs.  Even if your child gets used to their own dog, they might not lose their fear of unknown dogs.  Whilst dog owners shouldn’t allow their dogs to run up to other dogs, especially those on a lead, the fact of the matter is that many do.  You might find it impossible to walk your pup with your child present.  You could find yourself having to block a strange dog and prevent your child from panicking at the same time.  Just because your child is no longer afraid of your dog does not mean that they will not be scared of other dogs.

• Getting a pup didn’t work and now the dog has grown up.   Adolescent dogs no longer look like puppies but are often still boisterous and push boundaries to see what they can get away with.  They are hard work without the tiny puppy cuteness.    It might be at this point you realise that getting a puppy wasn’t the solution you’d hoped it would be and that your child is still frightened of dogs. Sadly, adolescence is when many dogs find themselves in rescue centres.

How can I help my child?

 

• • Don’t underestimate your child’s fear. Take your child’s fear of dogs seriously. Ask them what it is that makes them scared of dogs.  Show them you are listening to their concerns and that you understand that they are anxious about dogs. 

• • Don’t force them to interact with dogs.  If your child does not want to stroke a dog or even be close to them, then respect that choice.

• • If your child is worried by news stories about dog attacks, talk with them about it.   Allow your child to ask questions and voice their fears.  Explain that tragic stories about dog attacks reach the news because they are relatively rare: they wouldn’t be news-worthy if they happened all of the time.

• • Teach your child what to do if a dog approaches.  Show them how to make themselves boring to dogs by quietly standing still with their arms folded. A bored dog will lose interest and move away.  Practice when there are no dogs present so that they can use their skills with little prompting when a dog is there.

• • Get help.  There are Kids Around Dogs (KAD) professionals across the country who are qualified to work with your child to help them overcome their fear of dogs.  Wendy from Teach Dogs works with both adults and children who are afraid of dogs in Warrington, Liverpool and surrounding areas.   You can also visit the KAD website to find a professional close to you.  Find a Professional – Kids Around Dogs